The OTHER Jekyll & Hyde Musical (with Kirk Douglas) Song 5

Song 5: Jekyll Bought a Bicycle



Comments

Need I describe exactly how strange it is that this song exists in a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? You really need more proof than the song itself? This is a three-minute-long song about a bicycle - you do not get any less "Jekyll and Hyde" than this. It's actually quite well-written, not a bad song at all (especially compared to the songs from the Jekyll and Hyde Rock and Roll Musical *shudders*) but it's just too silly to hear Henry Jekyll singing about his new bike.

More words are to be added to the List of Things, Words or Phrases That Should Never Ever be Used in a Jekyll and Hyde Adaptation Ever Again: sprocket wheel, "ding ding", and bicycle (exceptions may be made for modern adaptations).

Lyrics

Jekyll:

I bought a bicycle

Isabel:

You bought a bicycle?

Jekyll:

Yes I bought a bicycle
I bought a bicycle
strolled into the shop and just
rode away!

Isabel:

You?

Jekyll:

Me, I bought a bicycle – today!

Isabel (spoken):

That's incredible, Henry!

Jekyll:

It's got a sprocket wheel.

Isabel:

Got a sprocket wheel?

Jekyll:

It's quite a vehicle,
my safety bicycle
clamp on the handlebars,
bells that ring!

Isabel:

No!

Jekyll:

Yes!

Isabel:

You bought a bicycle?

Jeykll:

ding ding!

Picture hemming  through the park at quite a clip
on a rover that is quite a pip
picture actually being self propelled!

Rolling along!

Isabel

Rolling along!

Jekyll:

Looking about!

Isabel:

Looking about!

Jekyll:

Having a perfectly wonderful--

Isabel:

Henry, look out!

Jekyll:

I bought a bicycle

Isabel:

It's a miracle!

Jekyll:

No, not a miracle
I bought a bicycle!

strolled into the shop and just
rode away!

Isabel:

You?

Jekyll:

Me up on a bicycle – today!

Both:

Picture hemming down the street  the perfect pair
on a cushion of pneumatic air
rolling,
rolling along the open road!

Isabel:

Many a hill -

Jekyll:

- easily climbed!

Isabel:

Many a brook -

Jekyll:

- easily crossed!
Isn't the countryside lovely at--

Isabel:

--Henry, we're lost!
It's unbelieveable

Jekyll:

unbelievable?

Isabel:

You bought a bicycle!

Jekyll:

That's not impossible!
I'm unpredictable
in my way!

Isabel:

You?

Jekyll:

Me!

Isabel:

No!

Jekyll:

Yes!

Isabel:

I say!

Jekyll:

I say that I bought a bloomin'
blinkin' bicycle...

Isabel:

Henry...

Jekyll:

..Sorry.

Both:

Toda~y!

The OTHER Jekyll & Hyde Musical (with Kirk Douglas) Song 4

Song 4: Rules, Rules



Comments
Again, through comparing the songs of Edward Hyde from this musical and the broadway musical, you can see the differences between the two, and why one achieved fame and one did not. The Broadway Musical's song for Hyde was dark and passionate and dramatic, piercing to the heart of the character. This song isn't bad, per se, but like the other songs in this movie it's silly, and it may be sort of fun but it isn't really gripping.

This song also contains several words and phrases which sap any drama it might have had out completely and utterly - Bo Peep, Peach-Pelting, and Jam and Molasses. Don't these things just make you think Jekyll and Hyde?

Lyrics

Edward Hyde (spoken)

Rules, rules: damn the Rules!

(singing)

Rules
were made to be broken.
Rules
we're meant to discard.
Rules,
none of use need 'em
they limit our freedom
as a rule, rules
ought to be barred

Marchilles of Queensbury rules
were made to be broken.
Sport
is never for fun.
Games are always a contest,
struggle for conquest
as a rule, games -
ought to be won!

Love!
Was meant to be lusty
down with little Bo Peep!
Love -
like jam and molasses -
was made for the masses;
as a public service,
love
ought to be cheap

Parliamentary rules
were made to be broken
fools should never be heard
bores,
once pelted with peaches,
will shorten their speeches
fearing fruit,
fools will weigh every word

Rules! Rules! Rules!

Judge:

Overruled.

Jekyll:

Rules
were meant to be lived by.
Rules,
like them or not.

Rules,
all of us need 'em
they safeguard our freedom
in this life, rules
are all that we've got.

The OTHER Jekyll & Hyde Musical (with Kirk Douglas) Song 3

Song 3: Smudge's Proposition



Comments:
Some of the songs in this musical I'd like to dub as "unnecessary songs that could have been communicated with an short unsung conversation". It's also one of the songs which feature secondary characters instead of the main cast, along with the song of the Showgirl Comforting the Matchgirl and the two songs with Jekyll's Groupies. Why should these minor scenes and characters get full blown songs of their own, songs which don't add anything to the plot, that would actually improve the film if removed? Beats me.
Lyrics:

Smudge the Criminal:

If there's anything that you need:
call me.
If there's anything I can do say the word.
I'm the type who can be trusted,
whose lips are always sealed.
Service is neat, professional,
I'm the expert in my field.

So if there's anything you like,
lacking
whatever your lordship wants,
I'm your man!
I've a most impressive record,
not many can make this claim:
twenty-two times arrested, not a conviction to me name!

So if there's something you haven't got, name it.
Whatever the items are, itemize!

Maybe it's a pair of bikes whose corners are round,
maybe it's a press that makes a counterfeit pound,
It may be on the up-and-up or under some ground
but if Smudge can't find it:
it cannot be found!

*both speak to policeman*

Smudge:

Where honesty's concerned I'm a collection box nun.
Me motto's fifty-fifty, I don't grab it and run
whether it's a paying job or only for fun!
If Smudge can't do it:
it cannot be done.

The Other Jekyll & Hyde Musical (with Kirk Douglas) Song 2

Song 2: The Way the World was Meant to Be



Comments
This song really epitomizes just why this Musical didn't work with most audiences - it's silly, far too upbeat, and it not only makes fun of itself, society and Jekyll and Hyde but it has fun doing it. This type of song could only really appeal to people who liked Jekyll and Hyde enough to welcome the humor it brings to the genre, people who liked comedic peppy musicals regardless of content or some other small niche audiences. Seriously contrasting this song with Facade, from the Broadway Musical, would be an interesting venture.
Also, sorry if I've not copied out all the lyrics perfectly, but I recorded them purely by ear and some of them were hard to decipher and even completely inaudible. If anyone else would like to fill in some of the gaps in the lyrics I'd sore appreciate it.

Lyrics

Woman:

Every gentleman tips his hat,

Man:

 Every lady is wearing lace,

Man 2:

Every properly perfect person in his perfectly proper place!

Women:

Every molly is on his tunes

Men:

Every nanny behind a pram!

Man:
And I meself am tipping t'wards the tinnest??
other man:
??inaudible words??
first man:

Precisely who I am!

man:

This is the way 'tis always been

boy:

this is is the way 'tis always been.

man

 You are you and I am me
and that my boy is destiny!

boy:

 the way the world was meant to be,

All:

The way the world was meant to be!

*Jekyll and Isabelle chat*

Chorus (people in insane asylum):

Every cobbler is stitching boots,
Every grinder is grinding knives,
We are properly perfect people living perfectly proper lives
Every gentleman's known as Sir,
Every lady is called Madam

Queen Victoria in a Straitjacket:

And I they say am at ?tee greem?
But they'll regret that they've been mean
They locked me up and I'm the Queen!

Man:

Precisely who she am!

Asylum Overseer:

This is the way 'tis always been.
This is the way 'twill always be.
They are they,
and we are we
and that, my friend is destiny.
The way the world is meant to be\
The way the world was meant to be

All:

This is the way 'tis always been.
This is the way 'twill always be.
They are they,
and we are we

Asylum Overseer:

And that my friend, is destiny!

(speaking)

The way the world was meant to be.

Jekyll:  (speaking)

no sir, it's not destiny. It's chemistry.

The OTHER Jekyll & Hyde Musical (with Kirk Douglas) Song 1

Song 1: Whatever Jekyll's Doing



Comments
I like to refer to the three men who sing this song as Jekyll's Groupies, because their only function in the movie is to come in and sing about how, despite any and all evidence that may be presented to the contrary, Henry Jekyll is a saint and all the suspicious things he's doing really can't be that bad, thus providing an obvious but nonetheless effective irony to the film. Why do these three gentlemen trust so highly in the angelic quality of Jekyll's character? Like any good slashfic fan, I vote repressed fanboy crushes. 

Lyrics

Groupie 1: (speaking)

Has anyone seen Henry Jekyll lately?

Groupie 2:

Not since the Danvers' dinner party.

Groupie 1:

I came upon his man Poole the other day

Groupie 3:

Oh what did he say?

Groupie 2:

Oh only that Jekyll's been very, very busy lately.

Groupie 1: (singing)

Locked in his laboratory
he's working day and night -
Were it not for purchasing his chemicals
he'd never get a breath of air!
I'd never ask of course,

Groupie 2:

of course!

Groupie 3:

Of course!

Groupie 1:

...But what's he doing in there?

Unknown Groupie 1:

Tuesday last you may recall the moon was rather bright,
as I passed I chanced to see the printing on the package there beside his door!
I'd never ask of course,

Unknown Groupie 2:

of course!

Unknown Groupie 3:

Of course!

Unknown Groupie 1:

… but what's the arsenic for?

All Groupies Together: (Chorus)

Though on the surface
it might be misunderstood -
totally misunderstood.
Still,
whatever it is,
whatever Jekyll's doing,
I'm sure it's something very very good!

Yes!
Whatever it is,
whatever Jekyll's doing,
I'm sure it's something very very good!

Groupie 1: (speaking)

Good man, Jekyll.

Groupie 2:

The best!

Groupie 3:

The best!

Groupie 1:

Even if he is Canadian.

Groupie 2:

...Canadian!

Groupie 3:

...Locked in there?

Groupie 1:

...Arsenic?

All Groupies Together: (Chorus)

Though on the surface
it might be misunderstood -
totally misunderstood.
Still,
whatever it is,
whatever Jekyll's doing,
I'm sure it's something very very good!

Yes!
Whatever it is,
whatever Jekyll's doing,
I'm sure it's something very,
very,
very very  good!

The OTHER Jekyll & Hyde Musical

Hello nonexistent readers! You will surely be happy to know that I have been doing more than just twiddle my thumbs or work on projects that actually matter - I have been indulging my obsession for Jekyll and Hyde!

The story is this - I just recently came into possession of a bargain-priced VHS tape of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the made-for-tv-musical film from 1972 starring Kirk Douglas! And I also just so happened to have access to technology that would allow me to record VHS tapes to my computer.

I have since then made the first and only digital copy of this rare film, and I am taking it upon myself to share it in all its glory and hilarity with you, the denizens of the internet. I'll post clips of all the songs from it as well as their transcribed lyrics right here, for all to enjoy. Maybe in the future I'll post the whole film, but right now I have neither the time nor the patience for that.

"Wait," you may be thinking, "There's another Jekyll and Hyde musical? Why haven't I heard anything about it? And if it came before the Broadway production, why is it not known as 'THE Jekyll and Hyde Musical' instead?"

"Well," I answer with a knowing little smile, "just watch the video and you'll see why its songs didn't achieve the same level of popularity."

 So here I present to you... the first ever video clip from the Jekyll and Hyde Musical starring Kirk Douglas!




Yes, you heard them right - Jekyll is a Canadian!

I'm sorry but I'm too tired to transcribe the lyrics at the moment, so I'll post them later.

Stay tuned, 'cause this isn't even the silliest song in the movie! I know it seems like it couldn't get any more chipper and nonsensical, but it does.

Oh, it does.