Some of the songs in this musical I'd like to dub as "unnecessary songs that could have been communicated with an short unsung conversation". It's also one of the songs which feature secondary characters instead of the main cast, along with the song of the Showgirl Comforting the Matchgirl and the two songs with Jekyll's Groupies. Why should these minor scenes and characters get full blown songs of their own, songs which don't add anything to the plot, that would actually improve the film if removed? Beats me.
Smudge the Criminal:
If there's anything that you need:
If there's anything I can do say the word.
I'm the type who can be trusted,
whose lips are always sealed.
Service is neat, professional,
I'm the expert in my field.
*both speak to policeman*
So if there's anything you like,
whatever your lordship wants,
I'm your man!
I've a most impressive record,
not many can make this claim:
twenty-two times arrested, not a conviction to me name!
So if there's something you haven't got, name it.
Whatever the items are, itemize!
Maybe it's a pair of bikes whose corners are round,
maybe it's a press that makes a counterfeit pound,
It may be on the up-and-up or under some ground
but if Smudge can't find it:
it cannot be found!
Where honesty's concerned I'm a collection box nun.
Me motto's fifty-fifty, I don't grab it and run
whether it's a paying job or only for fun!
If Smudge can't do it:
it cannot be done.